A Full Heart

Well, here I am, over 9 months later! I have been wanting to get back into the blogosphere for quite some time now, but haven't been able to manage it. This was partly due to just plain old busyness, but also due to a dry spiritual season in my life.

In January I was able to set a number of goals for myself, both spiritually and practically. I love goals, and I love being organized.

I don't love when I can't meet my goals, or lack the discipline to be consistent! And by mid-April, that's where I found myself. Falling short....in every area. All of my goals seemed so unattainable and I pretty much gave up on them. I'm starting to see that I tend to be a bit of an extremist, an "all or nothing" kinda gal. (This is a separate topic that I hope to flesh out in some later times) So yes, all that to say, blogging went by the wayside as well!

Anyhow, this past summer has proven a season filled with many joys and trials. The Lord has been doing much in my heart and drawing me closer to Himself in the process and I've felt compelled to blog again as I want to remark on His great faithfulness and goodness to me.....

I hope to do this over the next few posts, which, Lord willing, will be throughout this week.

A High Calling

Lately I've been feeling really overwhelmed and discouraged about all of the things that I am neglecting to do, yet so desperately want to be able to do.

I want to see my Mom and Dad more. I miss them. I want to spend more time with some of my unbelieving relatives, so that I can have opportunity to share the gospel.

I want to be able to serve more in the church, and minister to individuals and families.

I want to invest more in some of my friendships.

I want to be creative, and scrapbook and work on my cookbook, and bake more. I want to do these things so my girls have special memories and family traditions that they can pass on.

I want to read more, write more, exercise more and relax more.

Now, these things are good and so many of them are profitable for me and others in so many ways. However, I have been needing to remind myself, that right now, these are not the best things for me. They are not my primary calling.

As I've been thinking through all of my goals for next year, all that I want to accomplish, I've been trying to remind myself of God's calling on my life right now. I'm going on a mini retreat next month (as per advice from Shopping For Time) to pray, plan and organize for the upcoming year, and I want to have a godly outlook and perspective when I am doing so.

I humbly recalled Tedd Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, and these words struck me anew:

You must regard parenting as one of your most important tasks while you have children at home. This is your calling. You must raise your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. You cannot do so without investing yourself in a life of sensitive communication in which you help them understand life and God's world. There is nothing more important. You have only a brief season of life to invest yourself in this task. You have only one opportunity to do it. You cannot go back and do it over.
You live in culture in which there are opportunities for you to do things unheard of in history. You are presented daily with scores of options for investing your life's energies and creativity. There is more than you could ever do. You must, therefore, prioritize.
Parenting is your primary calling. Parenting will mean that you can't do all the things that you could otherwise do. It will affect your golf handicap. It may mean your home does not look like a picture from Better Homes and Gardens. It will impact your career and ascent on the corporate ladder. It will alter the kinds of friendships that you will be available to pursue. It will influence the kind of ministry that you are able to pursue. It will modify the amount of time you will have for bowling, hunting, television, or how many books you read. It will mean that you can't develop every interest that comes along. The costs are high.

Parenting is a high and weighty calling. I need to remember this when I feel as though I'm not "doing" enough, or accomplishing as much as I desire. At this point in my life, I am called to raise my children up in the discipline and knowledge of the Lord (Eph 6:4).

Teaching our children to live for God's glory is a task of eternal significance and we must never diminish the importance of it. God is honoured in our parenting and in our faithfulness to our families. All of our other desires are good and important also, but they must never contend with or distract from our calling right now. So don't feel discouraged if you can't "do it all".

Christmas Memories

I've always loved the Christmas season and since having children I've wanted to start creating special memories for them that they'll remember always, and possibly even pass on to their children.

I thought I'd pass along one such tradition that we've begun since Susannah was first born. This idea is not mine originally, and I know of many other families that do the same thing. We've all found it to be quite fun!

Every year for Christmas we buy an ornament for each of our daughters that says something unique about that past year...whether it's something they've really loved, or an ornament that reminds us of a personality trait, anything special to them really.

I was struggling with what to get for my youngest daughter Caitlyn. She just turned one and though she has quite the personality, I couldn't find any ornaments that were suitable to express this tangibly. I wanted to get her a monster ornament, because I always call her my little monster....she's always getting into trouble, and being exceptionally mischievous, and looking incredibly adorable while doing so! I figured it would not be easy to find a cute, appropriate monster though. My sister-in-law suggested "Animal", from the muppets which I thought was a great idea, but alas, I'm not sure where to find this!

After much thinking and reflecting on the year, I found the perfect ornaments for both Susannah and Caitlyn. Susannah and Catie were each given a stuffed beany baby when they were born that they both absolutely love, and will not sleep without. Susannah has Ellie the Elephant, and Caitlyn has TipTop the pink Giraffe. So, I was searching the Etsy site and stumbled across a shop by the name of Kimberly Creations that has the cutest little clay ornaments and the seller happened to have an elephant and a giraffe! I messaged her and she is custom making them for me to match the colours I need. I think they are just so adorable, so I had to share! This is them, except the giraffe will be pink.

Joy in the Sunshine

It seems like I've been reading and learning a lot about suffering lately. I've read much of the trials and hardships in the life of Elizabeth Prentiss. I've read blogs written by Christians who are enduring sorrowful times yet demonstrating great joy and trust and delight in God. I've been hearing much of the great work that God has done and is doing in the lives of His saints, as they endure the storms of life. I rejoice in all of this, and am so amazed by God's grace and faithfulness to work in His people during these times. People seem to grow and delight much in God during these seasons of their lives.

I've been pondering these things much lately, as I'm not currently suffering, nor have I experienced vast amounts of suffering throughout my life. Sometimes, I worry that a storm is bound to strike soon. I think that since I haven't suffered as much as some others, that my turn must be coming....after all that is how so many people seem to grow in grace.

So do I sit back and wait? Is true joy and delight in God, only experienced fully when I suffer?

Throughout Scripture and the historical church, we do see that God does amazing things during periods of great hardship.

The apostle Paul endured intense adversity and testifies to the grace of God in the midst of it and even counted it all joy. So many of the great reformers and the heroes of our faith sustained much tribulation and we know some of the wonderful work that the Lord accomplished through this.

Without a doubt, God uses affliction for the good of his people, and suffering plays a vital role in the lives of Christians. It will come in some form to all people that live long enough!

I think as Christians we need to anticipate suffering and be prepared for it. However, I think we need to be careful not to glorify suffering. This is not the only means that God uses to accomplish his purposes. We can still delight in him and hope to grow in grace during the seasons of sunshine, not just the storms.

As many have probably experienced, it can be so easy and tempting to become complacent and self-reliant in times of ease. It seems that when we suffer we seek after Christ desperately, because so much of this world loses its appeal.

However, in his letter to the Philippians, Paul writes:

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Paul needed to learn to be content no matter what his circumstances, whether he was low, or whether he was abounding. Don't wait for times of suffering to draw close to your Saviour, but draw close always. Pursue Christ, seek after him relentlessly and earnestly, in all seasons, and you can do this, through him who gives you strength. May God grant grace to delight!

The Heart That Hides

Awhile back I mentioned that I wanted to do a series of posts on my favourite quotes from one of my favourite books, Stepping Heavenward. You can see the first post here. Well it's been some time, but here's another one. On the second page of the novel, young Katie is heading downstairs to enjoy her birthday breakfast with her family and she arrives a bit late. I'll include the whole scenario to give you the full effect!

"....I was quite startled to hear the bell ring for prayers. I jumped up in a great flurry and dressed as quickly as I could. Everything conspired together to plague me. I could not find a clean collar or a hankerchief. It is always just so. Mother is forever poking my things into out-of-the-way places! When at last I went down, they were all at breakfast.
"I hoped you would celebrate your birthday, dear, by coming down in good season," said Mother.
I do hate to be found fault with, so I fired up in an instant.
"If people hide my things so that I can't find them, of course I have to be late," I said. And I think I said it in a very cross way, for Mother sighed a little."

Well this scene is one that I can imagine quite vividly, for I have experienced and responded this way not a few times in my life! A frustrating situation, wounded pride, and an unbridled tongue are definitely things that I am well acquainted with. Now I must confess that this dramatic scenario usually gives me a good chuckle when I read it, but I wanted to think through the heart condition in such a phrase as "I do hate to be found fault with."

We all hate to have faults, let alone have them discovered. Lately, I've been pondering the reasons that we may hate having our faults made known to us. To clarify, I wanted to use this to discuss the presence and exposure of sin in our lives rather than ambiguous "faults," but I figured this quote was an adequate springboard.

So, in one sense, it may be because we are truly and righteously grieving over the sin that we see still remains in us. It may be because we do not want our sin to reflect poorly on the gospel, and thus be a bad Christian witness. It may be because the person that corrects or admonishes us, is not doing so in love, but rather mean-spiritedly.

Quite sadly, I know that in the majority of situations, my desire to not be found fault with does not stem from pure motives, but rather from a proud heart. Being found fault with does not exactly facilitate a desire to be esteemed. Faults reflect poorly on me.

How do you feel or react, Christian, when someone sees your sin and offers correction or instruction? Would you rather have it concealed, so that you will be thought of more highly? Do you get defensive? Do you look for sins in the "faultfinder," so that you can discredit what they have said? Or do you honestly examine your own heart, to determine if in fact there may be sin present?

Or do you long to know of your sins and have them exposed, that you might be able to put them to death?

I think that our response and reaction to being "found fault with," really exposes the way we view our sin. Do we hate it? Or do we hate how it makes us look?

If we truly hate our sin, if we remember that Christ suffered and endured the wrath of God for it, we will not care that others might think less of us, but our first and utmost concern will be that this sin that remains in us would be mortified! We will long for Christ's glory, and we will know that he is most glorified when we are killing sin and are becoming more like him.

I don't think we are necessarily accustomed to this type of thing in our relationships but I know that I want to be the type of Christian that welcomes the exhortation and admonishment from other sisters/brothers. I want fellow saints to feel that I would welcome their instruction or reproof, despite the immediate discomfort I will most likely experience. What about you? Would your closest friends be comfortable approaching you if they saw sin in your life? Do you want them to be?

Now, obviously this post can go on for awhile, and deal with many other issues surrounding this sort of thing... how we approach someone about sin, what if a person is wrong when they approach me about sin, etc. However, for this post, I just wanted to look at a heart that hates "to be found fault with," because I know that so often this is my heart. May God change my heart, for my good and his glory!

Proverbs 9:7-12 Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

Goodbye Old El Paso!

Well, this month has been a lot busier than I anticipated and thus it has been awhile since I've been able to post! I'm not able to write much at this time either as it's been a long day and I'm about ready to get to bed. However, I did say that I'd be posting a recipe each week, so I thought I should at least get that up.

For those of you that enjoy tacos or chili, this recipe is for you. I was really excited when I came across this recipe and I thought some others out there might appreciate it as well. It is a taco seasoning mix, that actually tastes very similar, if not better than the packets you can purchase at the grocery store. I'm sure that it is much lower in sodium as well. I don't think I'll be buying the packets anymore.

I found this recipe in a book entitled Miserly Meals, by Jonni McCoy, that I bought at a Christian Bookstore.

Mexican Seasoning Mix

1/4 cup flour
2 T chili powder
1/4 cup onion powder
2 tsp garlic powder
4 tsp salt
4 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp sugar
2 tsp cumin
2 tsp oregano

Put all of the ingredients in a blender or food processor and blend until less powdery (don't overblend). Use the "pulse" feature. Add more cayenne pepper if you prefer it hotter.

Store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

Three tablespoons of this mix equals one purchased packet of taco or chili seasoning mix.

This recipe is great for tacos, or to have on hand to add to a pot of chili.

Hope you enjoy!

The Cookbook

Growing up I can remember several staple foods that my mom served us regularly. These were passed down from her mom but the problem was that they generally came without recipes. Grandma would just tell mom what to do and over the years, mom would likely adjust and change some things. Well, then I got married and I wanted to cook some of the foods that I'd grown up with, but since there weren't any written recipes for many of these foods, mom and I would just chat over the phone and she'd give me the basics to accomplish the dish of choice.

This started me thinking that it would be a good idea to have these written down, so that I can pass these recipes down to my girls. Hence the reason that I've started to put a family cookbook together, an heirloom that I can pass on to my children and hopefully even further. Now, this is definitely a work-in-progress, so I wholeheartedly welcome any advice, tips, or even your favourite recipes!

I thought I'd just jot down some practical reasons for doing this, then I'll go through in more detail what this cookbook will include and purpose!

Practically speaking why make a cookbook?

1. It helps to keep me organized - I'm sure many women can identify with the number of recipes they have floating around the house in different formats such as, cue cards, ripped out pages from a magazine, paper printed from the computer from recipes found online, recipes scribbled down on scrap paper that you've received from a friend, etc. So I keep two folders - one that is labeled "TO TRY", and another that is labeled "TRIED, TESTED, TRUE". After a recipe has successfully made it from one folder to another, I then (when I find the time), type it up into a WORD template that I have for my recipes. I throw out all recipes that do not make into the second folder. Also, it's often good to go back to the "TO TRY" folder when it gets too big and purge, as often our tastes or circumstances may change and we realize we no longer want to try that particular recipe.


2. It's helpful for planning and saving time - During this season of my life it is necessary for me to plan my meals for the week, ahead of time. This way I only buy such groceries that I am going to use for the week and I don't have to scramble to come up with something for dinner on a particular night. So the cookbook is intended to be like a master meal selection... so unless I desire to be creative and try something new that week, I just have to look through one large cookbook with all of my favourite foods to come up with my meal plan.


3. It makes it easier to give recipes to other people - If an occasion happens to present itself where a friend or family member desires a recipe that you served them, it is quite easy to give them a copy of it, especially if you have it on the computer because then you can simply e-mail them the file.
   

What will this cookbook include?

At this point, my book is including all recipes handed over from family, friends and even acquaintances (my husband knows how much I like adding to the book, so if he eats somewhere without me and likes a recipe, he'll try and get it for me... or for him I guess!). It is also including any recipes that I have found in cookbooks or online that I have enjoyed. And, lastly, it also includes any of my own successful creations.

As a side note, for all you foodies out there, I've found it really useful (this tip is courtesy of Chef Michael Smith from the FoodNetwork) to keep a notebook in my kitchen that I leave open with a pen, and whenever I play around with a recipe or create something of my own, I jot it down, so that I won't forget it the next time I want to make it.

I'd also like this book to eventually include some written memorable moments and photos of cooking with my girls, as well notes of encouragement.

I'm also hoping to include photos of my recipes (this idea from my wonderful hubby), and Lord willing, they will be taken by my good friend Rebecca Wagler who takes lovely pictures. You can see some of her jewellery photos at her shop, The Ardent Sparrow.

So right now, this cookbook is on my computer and for now I print off the recipes (colour-coded by type of meal) and put them in protective covers in a binder, but I eventually hope to have a copy published on lulu.com. Check it out, it's really cheap and quite easy I think.

What is the purpose of this cookbook other than practicality and what is the purpose of this post?

For me, it has a couple of purposes and I'll just briefly list them as this post is way longer than I intended. Well, for one, I'm having fun doing it... it's a nice hobby for me, because it's helping in my homemaking duties, but I also really enjoy it. Another reason is preserving relationships, as I alluded to in my last post. It helps me to remember and pray for a lot of the people in my life. The recipes in it are from all of those people that I just love and I can think of them fondly whenever I am going through the book. Also, Lord willing, I hope to pass this cookbook on to my girls so that they can remember our family meals and the people that are or were important in their lives. Whenever I cook chicken paprikas, I think of my late Grandmother and my Mom. I've finally come up with a written recipe for this, so now I can keep this in the family as time continues.

Aside from the fact that I love talking about food related stuff, I thought someone else may like the idea. I got the initial idea from a friend and I've just adapted it to my preferences. As a mom, I love getting new ideas to do with my kids or for my kids or for my home, so I figured maybe someone else would enjoy this! Also, I thought that I would share a recipe from my book on this blog, once a week. And I would gladly welcome any of your favourite recipes!

Whatever You Do...

Quite surprisingly, this is my first actual post on food! This is surprising, because well, I love food. I love cooking it, reading recipes, watching shows on how to prepare it, experimenting with it and of course, I love eating it.

Now I am no gourmet, but I figured since cooking and food seem to take up such a large portion of each day, and since I love it so much, I should really seize it as an opportunity to glorify God. As a homemaker, food preparation is primarily my responsibility (well actually, in my home it is exclusively my responsibility… Julian is still struggling with the microwave), so I want to serve my family as best as I can in this area. So over the past while I've been thinking of various ways to use food/cooking as an opportunity to be a faithful saint.

So far, this area of my responsibility is one that I really enjoy so it has not been overly difficult for me to serve in this regard. For many others this may not be such an enjoyable task, some may just not like cooking, others may find it difficult. I definitely understand such things, as sewing or cleaning the bathroom are right up there on my not so favourite duties list!

Well I thought I'd write this post to encourage anyone that is struggling in their kitchen duties, or for those who love it and want to find even greater value and opportunities in it. Most of the ideas that I'll list here are probably not original, as I have either read them or learned them from women who have more experience and wisdom than me. So here we go... how can we best take advantage of the time we spend in the kitchen and the time we spend eating with our families?

1. Pray or meditate while you cook. Sometimes this is not an easy task, especially if you're not entirely apt in the kitchen or if the day is just a little chaotic and you're rushing around trying to get dinner on the table at a reasonable hour. Regardless, I still think that this is a worthy thing to strive for. Keep it simple, pray for the person that gave you the recipe (if you received it from someone), or pray for the people you’ll be eating the meal with.


2. Have people over for food. Inviting people over for dinner is a great way to serve friends and family. You’ll all be eating dinner, so why not share some meals together? If the people you are gathering with are Christians, you can create great opportunities to engage in true biblical fellowship. If they are not, your family meals can be a witness and serve as a means to potentially share the gospel.


3. Give food away. Make extra on some occasions when you’re cooking, and then give it away to people in your church that may find it a blessing, like young single men, elderly people, new moms, sick people etc. If you just add extra to your regular cooking, you don’t necessarily have to set up a separate cooking occasion in order to minister in this way to someone.


4. Use food and mealtimes to create special memories for your family. I’ve heard of so many great and fun ideas to do with your families over mealtimes. I know families that use mealtimes to memorize scripture, other families that discuss what God is teaching each individual, or what they’ve learned in the sermon that week. I’ve heard of neat meal ideas that children definitely enjoy, like personal mini-meatloaves, or animal shaped sandwiches and many more. I’ve read (mainly on the girltalk blog) of fun ways to eat your meals, such as eating dessert first or using the wrong utensils! There’s just so much you can do to make these times a highlight for your family and an occasion to grow closer together and create memories.


5. Preserve relationships. Well, I’m not going to go into a ton of detail here, because I’m going to do another post on this next. Initially this entire blog post was supposed to be on this but I got carried away while typing! So here we are… and you might be asking how food/cooking preserves relationships. It probably does so in various ways, but I’m just going to look at one practical way that you can do this and that is to create an heirloom. Make a cookbook! This might sound nonsensical right now, but hopefully by the next post will be a little more illuminating. For now, let’s leave it at that and conclude here.
   

All of this to say, I just wanted to write this post to possibly encourage someone who may be having struggles in this area, and for myself, because there are definitely days when putting together meals is not my activity of choice, and I know that given 10 more years a lot of my new cooking excitement will have waned. I hope that this post will remind me of the benefits and joys that can come with this part of family life! So there ya go... cooking and mealtimes don’t just have to be about filling your belly, but they could be filling your heart, soul and mind with good things from above!

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Cor 10:31)

The God of Nahum

Since I was a little girl I have struggled with fear. I still do now but to a different degree, and it has only seemed to intensify with the birth of my daughters. I'm not afraid at all during the day, but as soon as I lay my head on my pillow at night, I am plagued by fears, worries and anxiety. It is most always about evils in the world, and vivid imaginings of anything happening to my girls. Sometimes it gets bad enough that I need to wake my husband. Sometimes prayer doesn't work because I am not trusting my God. I don't like this.

Well last night was no exception and I started to worry, but thankfully I was able to pray and sleep overwhelmed me quite quickly. Alas, I awoke this morning to read my Bible and I was completely blessed by my God, the God of Nahum.

In this book Nahum prophesied about God's imminent judgement on Nineveh as they refused to repent. Known for the cruelty with which they treated other nations, God would now punish them and Judah could rejoice for this notorious people was about to fall. In the final verse of this book, after God has destroyed them, Nahum writes to the Ninevites, "There is no easing your hurt; your wound is grievous. All who hear the news about you clap their hands over you. For upon whom has not come your unceasing evil."

Now, my thoughts were neither novel nor profound, but I met with my God this morning and he gave me much comfort, and much to cling to for hope.

As I read of God's intense anger and vengeance and wrath against Nineveh, I was so quickly and humbly reminded once again that God hates wickedness and evil more than I do. God destroyed this nation because of their evil, because he hated it! Nineveh was cruel and unrepentant and this fact did not go unnoticed by God. They seemed to prosper for a time, but God was still sovereign and God would not let them continue in their ways.

So often when I lay awake at night, my flesh tells me the lie that if God hated the evils in this world as much as me, he would not allow them at all. But when I read Scripture I see clearly that this is not the case, but is in fact quite the opposite. I may not know all the details and intricacies of God's sovereign will, nor understand why he works the way that he does, but I know that he is good, and he loves goodness and kindness, and hates sin and iniquity.

In the first chapter of Nahum, when God's wrath and anger are being depicted, his goodness and slowness to anger are also woven right into this picture. His anger at sin and his goodness are not separated, but are so uniquely intertwined:

"The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD is avenging and wrathful; the LORD takes vengeance on his adversaries and keeps wrath for his enemies. The LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty." (Nahum 1:2-3)

God's ways are good and he is for those who take refuge in him (Nahum 1:7). By God's grace, when I lay down to sleep tonight, the words of the Psalmist will comfort me, "Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling" (Psalm 46: 2-3).

Moms and Memories

The other day Julian and I were reminiscing about some of our favourite family memories from growing up.

As we talked I thanked God for my mom, who did an amazing job at making me love my home and giving me many great memories and traditions that I hope to pass on to my children. Mom was on her own with my younger brother and I and she didn't become a Christian until I was around 12 years old, but God's grace and mercies were still evident in our lives before that as he always protected us, provided for us, and gave us a loving relationship which only grew when Mom and I were saved.

So Mom, tonight I'm thanking God for his hand in your life, for making you a mom that loved your children and sought to make a good home for us and make special memories with us. I am even more thankful that God saved you and me and that he's kept us and will keep us.

On that note, I thought I'd just journal some of my favourite family memories from my childhood:

• It was definitely my Mom that instilled the value of 'coziness' and 'comfy clothes' in me. From the earliest age I can remember getting cozy in our jammies, having lots of pillows and blankets and snuggling on the couch! I especially remember Friday evenings when we were a bit older and the TGIF tv programs were on.....we would get in our pajamas, pull out the couch (into a bed), get all the pillows in the house, have a yummy snack and stay up late watching Full House and Family Matters.
• Mom was always great at making our friends feel welcome in our home. I loved having sleepovers and having Mom make us french toast or pancakes the next morning for breakfast. Birthday parties were exceptionally exciting as I was allowed to have multiple friends sleep over all at once!
  
• Christmas was always a special time for us, and it became even more dear to me once we knew Jesus as our Lord. Every year we would get a great tree, most years a real one, (some years we'd even go and cut it down...very ambitious of you mother) and then we'd come home, put on Christmas music, have a snack tray and decorate our tree together. On Christmas Eve we would also have the music and snacking and mom would read from one of the gospels about Jesus' birth. I really loved these times.
  
• I have to admit that our family liked Nintendo and each year for several years, we'd get the new and latest game. The early Super Mario Bros. were our favourites and Mom was pretty good at these games. I'll never forget her trying to get the one hundred extra lives in the first Super Mario Bros. and Philip and I going to hide in another room to wait because we would be so nervous and excited that we just couldn't watch! We did have some really great times playing these video games together as a family during our Christmas vacation.
• Sunday mornings were definitely my favourite times when we first became Christians. Mom would always put some Christian music up really loud (Songs From the Loft, hehe, or Holy Holy Holy) in order to wake us up. We'd have a nice breakfast and then mom would read a devotional to us. I'll never forget those times and I'll never forget that newness of joy we had when we first came to Christ.
  

Well the list could go on, but I think I'll stop here. In addition to the memories that my mom created for us to cherish, she also created a relationship between us that was very open and honest. I never once felt that I wanted or needed to hide things from her and I could always talk to her and confess what was going on in my heart and life. I trusted her and her counsel and this is such a precious memory from growing up. I am praying that God would grant me this type of relationship with my daughters. Mom and I are still so close now for which I feel truly grateful and blessed.

I just wanted to say thanks Mom and tell you how much I love you. Thanks for giving me wonderful memories and so much love, but thank you mostly for pointing me to Jesus.

I definitely want my children to love their home and have some of the same great memories that I do. I thank God for his grace in your life, for making you into the hardworking, loving woman that you are, and I pray for his continued grace, that he would continue to refine you and make you a woman of steadfastness. I pray that all that you do would be for his glory. I am so thankful that my children have such an awesome "gramma", and I look forward to all the memories that you're starting to make with them and our little family.

Me and My Polestar

I thought I'd pass along another one of my favourite household items. This one is not especially for the kitchen but it probably ranks as my 'most vital tool'. It allows me to keep my house running in some sort of organized fashion. As seen in the picture, it's my wonderful, reliable day-planner/organizer. I've tried oodles of organizers and this one has proved to be the most functional and appropriate for me as a stay-at-home mom. And, to boot, it's only $8.50 at Costco. Gotta love that! I thought I'd post on this because I searched for awhile before finding this, and I figured it may help someone out to have a suggestion to try out. I'm going to end this post here, lest I really begin to sound like an ad.

Joy in the Storms

I was doing a search on the song More Love To Thee a few nights ago (truth be told, I wanted to see if my blog popped up), and instead I stumbled upon another blog by the name of More Love To Thee. Well of course I had to check this out, and it was quite a find!

This blog is also written by a young woman (named Beka) and not only do we share a love for the Lord and for the writings of Elizabeth Prentiss but from what I gathered from spending some time on her site we also have many other similarities! Obviously I was quite intrigued by all this so I spent some time reading her posts.

It appears that I stumbled upon this blog during a deep valley in Beka's life and I have cried much as I have read her posts. Just a few days ago Beka received the news that her unborn baby no longer has a heartbeat, and she is currently waiting for the completion of miscarrying the baby. This is her third miscarriage. I do not personally understand a loss such as this but my heart was aching and grieving with hers as I read her blog.

But at the same time that my heart was hurting with Beka I was also rejoicing and incredibly blessed by reading of her faith, trust and hope in God. She is not doubting God's goodness, but is leaning on him in total dependence. I am just so encouraged and refreshed to see this woman's steadfastness through this trial.

I wanted to pass along the link to her blog as I have been much encouraged and challenged by her heart for our Lord. From her writings, despite her current grief and mourning, she still demonstrates an abundant joy in her Saviour! I pray this for our hearts Christian, that our faith and joy would be rooted and anchored in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that when the time comes we would be able to weather the storms that rage in our lives.

Beka, if you read this, I want you to know that I'll be praying that the Lord would bless you with children in the near future and if his will is otherwise, that you would find supreme satisfaction in him alone, and that you would continue to trust in his good, and sovereign plan. You have been on my heart much these last few days.

Here is the link for her blog. I hope you will be as blessed as I have.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

A Kitchen Must

Tonight as I was preparing dinner I realized how much I love my hand-held immersion blender. I've found this tool to be exceptionally useful and it's really helped me save time in the kitchen. If you don't have one, I would highly recommend buying one. They're really affordable and can be used for a number of things, like pureeing soups, making smoothies, baby food, etc. In case you're wondering, I'm not being paid to advertise, I just thought I'd share one of my favourite kitchen utensils...so if you were ever contemplating getting one, I would definitely go for it!

For Whose Glory?

We went to a cottage one day this week and I finally found some time to resume reading More Love to Thee, the biography of Elizabeth Prentiss. Once I started reading I wondered why I've delayed so long in getting back into this gem! I was blessed almost immediately upon opening the book, or maybe I should say convicted and really forced to examine some of the motives of my heart.

There is a small paragraph in the biography that refers to an earlier period in Elizabeth's life, where she really struggled with being able to pray aloud with individuals or in small groups. At first I thought this odd as from the rest of her life it did not appear that she was concerned with what others would think of her. Then I read the possible explanation as to why she did not pray: "Perhaps this had something to do with her upbringing, or perhaps it was her almost morbid fear of hypocrisy. She never wanted to appear more spiritual than she actually was."

Well this got me. I want a heart more like hers. I want a heart that cares more about bringing glory to Christ than making a good name for myself!

I've often struggled with this in regards to blogging. A good friend and I were discussing some issues we have with blogging and some of the things that we don't like about it, and our major concern was the fact that it is so easy to appear more spiritual or 'together' than we actually are.
It is so easy to put forth our best in blogging. To sound like we have everything in order.

I was so convicted as I read about Elizabeth's concern to not be a hypocrite, to never appear more spiritual than she was. Why would she have this concern? From reading her biography and many of her writings, she sounds quite spiritual, and if that were our merit for praying it appears that she would definitely be more qualified than many. But in the words of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, "the holier a man becomes, the more he mourns over the unholiness that remains in him." The more we begin to know God and the more sanctified we become, the more we see our own unworthiness, the more we see the sin that is still in us and the more we see that all we are is because of grace. The more we grow, the less we would long for anyone to make much of us.

I long for this type of heart. I see such evidences of this type of hypocrisy in my own heart, a desire to been seen as a spiritual or godly woman, and even my desire to actually be more spiritual or godly can be hypocritical.

Now obviously the longing to be more spiritual and more godly are not inherently wrong in themselves, but the desire begs the question, 'Why do we want to be more spiritual or more godly?' Do I honestly long for these things so that God will be glorified through me? Or do I want these things because I want glory for myself?

Are you 'contending for supremacy with God' Christian? Do you want to sound more spiritual than you actually are, or do you even want to be more spiritual because that would mean glory for you?

For me, I know that self and pride are still competing so fiercely for exaltation, because even as I write this post, I desire to write more than I am currently desiring to meet with my God in his Holy Word.

'Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.' Change my heart, make me long for your glory above all else, make me long for others to love you more than anything and especially more than me!

The Folly of Pride

As I mentioned in my previous post, there was a lengthy season in my life where I was really struggling to read God's word and find joy in Him alone. During this time, I found my heart becoming very cold and hard, and this began to manifest itself in the way that I was living. Most noticeable was that I was quick to anger, prone to fault-finding and gossip, and I was more concerned with my wants and desires rather than desiring to serve others.

However this season was not without its good purposes! During this time, the Lord really shed some light on the ‘hidden evils of my heart’. I really began to see what I would look like, without the grace of God in my life. Not a pretty sight, to say the least! But what was even more startling to me during this time was the increase of pride in my heart. At such a time as this, when I quite obviously had nothing to be proud of, I was becoming more proud! What could my heart possibly find to have pride in at a time like this?

But that’s the thing about pride isn’t it? It seems to work subtly and subversively, making an appearance even in places where it is the least justifiable. Our hearts long to make much of ourselves, long to find something good in us, long to have glory, where quite clearly no glory is due. Even at our worst we can find something to boast about, whether we see things in others that we think we do better, or just the fact that we at least recognize our sin, can make us proud.

Even in areas where it may seem that one has cause for pride, such as good looks, vast knowledge, exceptional skills, marked spirituality, Scripture is quick to remind us “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”(1 Cor 4:7)

Proof in point, that "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer 17:9)

The Lord is still working out these things in me and I'm sure that he will be until he brings me home to glory, but my prayer is that he will continue to humble me. In future posts, I hope to address the guile of pride at more length. For now Christian, remember "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6b)

Grace Abundant

The Lord saw fit to save me about 13 years ago or so. It has been quite a journey and God has been faithful to continue to reveal himself to me. In the past few years I've begun to learn more about the character of God, yet at the same time I've realized that there is so much more that is a mystery!

For the past couple of years, until not long ago actually, I was constantly plagued by doubts and uncertainty in the goodness of my God. I was confused and always questioning God, unable to read my Bible without doubting and virtually demanding explanation.

I really wasn't able to grow closer to God, wasn't able to love him as I ought to love him, wasn't able to find comfort and supreme joy in him, wasn't able to examine my own heart and see my sin, I was always focused on figuring out why God works the way he does and asking questions of him.

I was aware of the pride in my heart...I understood that my doubts and questions were a reflection of a heart that thought that I knew better than God. I knew that I was being incredibly audacious. I knew of God's words to Job and thought of them often, "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?" (Job 38:2). I knew of Paul's words to the Romans, "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counsellor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?" (Romans 11:34). I knew this stuff! Yet it wasn't changing my heart.

I would read, I would question. I would pray, I wouldn't find comfort. Doubts and fears and uncertainties assailed me almost daily! It got to the point where I was actually afraid to read my Bible and pray, and I wouldn't just so I could avoid questioning God. It was easier to not think of it. Needless to say, I was in a dry and weary land.

Well, the reason that I'm writing this post is because my God did not leave me in this land without water, and I am rejoicing in this!

I'd just finished my devotions several weeks ago and I was meditating on the compassion and mercies of God while I was blow-drying my hair (this takes awhile). As I was thinking over these things it suddenly struck me that I was truly delighting in God and marvelling at his character revealed to me in the verses that I'd just read. I wasn't questioning, I wasn't suspicious...I was loving him!

I wish I could tell you what had happened, what had brought about the change, but it came so slowly that I didn't even recognize it had come. All that I know is God was gracious to me. I had prayed for so long that my heart would change and God heard that prayer.

I am still reading the minor prophets and where I once would have only seen wrath, I now see abundant grace and mercy, where I once would have been suspicious of God, I am now delighting in him, where I once would have been demanding answers from God, I am now examining my own heart for sin, where I once met with frustration and emptiness, I now find life for my soul.

God is faithful. Don't give up hope, Christian. Keep reading your bible, keep praying, keep preaching to your own heart. God loves you and he will give you drink.

Crushed With Guilt Well

I just listened to an excellent message on Psalm 51 by John Piper that I thought I would pass on. I would strongly urge you listen to this as it really forces a Christian to examine the way they view their own sin. You can find it here.

The God of Amos

I've recently been reading through the minor prophets in my personal devotions and I've truly been blessed during these times, so I thought I would record some of the things that I've been meditating on.

I finished the book of Amos, not long ago, and I was just struck again by the mercies of God! The book of Amos is filled with God's judgments on his people, the Israelites, yet at the same time the pages are brimming with unimaginable mercy and compassion. During the prophetic ministry of Amos, both kingdoms are in the midst of enjoying prosperity and stability, which seems to lead to their downfall. Oppression of the poor, idolatry and corruption are also rampant at this time. God is angry and quite obviously so.

Chapter 4 in particular lists many of the plagues that the Lord inflicted upon his people for their sin. Now this would have been enough. The people sinned, God punished, end of story. Justice is served. But as we Christians know, God didn't end the story here, for which I personally am so grateful. At the end of each infliction in this chapter, the Lord declares 'yet you did not return to me.' And this is where I saw a glimpse of the heart of my God.

God could have judged the Israelites and punished them for their transgressions for no other reason than the fact that they sinned and deserved punishment. It was their due! But no, he did not punish merely because he must be just, but he punished in mercy. He desired their return to him. He desired that they repent of their sin. He desired that they forsake other gods and serve him alone.

So often you hear people say that the God of the Old Testament is a God of wrath, but the God of the New Testament is a God of love and mercy. I don't know about you, but I see a God of love and mercy in the Old Testament! It was this God who prepared beforehand the death of Christ, to purchase our salvation! It pleased this God to bruise his only son for our transgressions!

The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation. (Exodus 34:6,7)

Precious Moments

I'd been feeling rather down on myself awhile back for not keeping better track of special days and events in the lives of my little girls. I hadn't thought of a creative way to present it, I just wasn't organized enough when Susannah was born, and I just found time kept getting away from me.

Well, Susannah is talking quite a bit now and doing the most funny things, so Julian came up with a great idea for me to keep track of these things. It's simple and doesn't require much time at all.

I opened up a Google Document and I just jot down the date and a quick line or two when something special or particularly cute and funny occurs. I've also been able to track the milestones for Caitlyn really well. I can write down when she's getting closer to doing something. I find it a bit easier than trying to decide the actual first day she does something. She's been repeating 'mama' and 'dada' lately, but I'm not convinced that it's accurate to record this time and these words as her first words so I just write that it seems like she's trying to say stuff, and I'll journal more as we go! Not an ingenious or overly complicated plan but it's working fantastic and I'm so excited to have these things written down. I figure that I can go back later and figure out some creative way to present it nice and pretty! At least I have the information recorded now. I also find typing makes it easier too since I can type much faster than I write.

Here are a few excerpts, for your enjoyment.

Susannah (my eldest - she's 19 months)

July 7, 2008
Today you did a couple of funny things! You were playing on your own for awhile and I noticed you were rather quiet. Often this means trouble. On this particular occasion you were playing with Elly (stuffed beany Elephant) and changing her diaper. We have a little change station in the living room, with a basket full of diaper changing needs, vaseline, lil goats cream, diapers, etc. You've gotten into the vaseline before and have been told not to touch it on various occasions. Well, when I noticed how quiet you'd become I thought I should check out exactly what you were doing. What a laugh your dad and I had over this! You had Elly laying on her back with her legs open and you were putting vaseline in Elly's "private" area! I took a picture of Elly just so you could see. What a hoot!


For dinner tonight we were having hotdogs and corn, and you wanted to keep drinking from daddy's glass. Well he let you and you were doing really well with it, so we gave you your own plastic cup to try. You did well with it for awhile and then your dad and I looked over at you again and you were busy soaking your hotdog in it, and then eating it quite happily.

July 8, 2008
Dad bought himself some mini-wheats for breakfast, so I thought you may like them. Cereal is your favourite. You especially like to lift the bowl and drink the milk. Most often, you don't even wait until the end to drink the milk. Well apparently you don't like mini-wheats. When I looked over at you, you were taking them out of your bowl, one at a time, and placing them on your tray. When you noticed me watching you, you said, "I drink" and proceeded to lift your now empty bowl and polish off the milk! Then you smushed all the mini wheats. You're too much!

I was putting some clothes away in your room today and I heard you singing in the other room. I walked over to listen and you were singing "Jesus, thank you," or should I say "Jesus, cake you".

July 9, 2008
Today you told daddy that you loved him, unprompted. This was a first. I'm waiting for my turn.

Caitlyn (she's my 8 month old)

July 1, 2008
We had company over tonight and you were so much fun, as well as a bit of trouble. You waved quite a bit for our guest during dinner. It's really funny because you smile so big while you're doing it, and it looks like you're revving up a motorcycle. I just love it. Your sister waved more like the queen when she learned.

You seemed to have a rumbly tummy tonight because you cried out every time we put you down to sleep. I got you up for a bit and you sat on the floor and played ball with me. You were having so much fun, and you could catch the ball quite well.

July 2, 2008
Aunt Jan and the kids were downstairs visiting today and when they were leaving you waved (imitating me) and said "bye" or at least it really sounded like it!

July 8, 2008
You're getting closer to crawling every day. I put you in the crawling position today a few times and you can stay in it and rock yourself a bit. I'm excited for you to start moving, but a little nervous too! You're starting to get the hang of your sippy cup a lot better now. You've begun to tip it up more. My little girl is growing up.

You had your second eye appointment today at Sick Kids. You did pretty well, everyone commented on what a happy baby you are. You were pretty set against them putting drops in your eyes though. You screamed and thrashed and tried to keep your eyes shut as best you could. You're a feisty one! You were great as soon as they were done though.

You've also started to become very possessive of toys. You scream very loudly if Susannah or I take a toy or juice cup from you.

July 10, 2008
It seems to your dad and I that you are starting to say some words. Dada and Mama in particular. You repeat them, when we sound them out for you. It's so adorable. We're not one hundred percent sure that it's not just a fluke every time, but we'll see as time goes by I guess.

Well that's that! I'm really loving this. I find that it's helping me to really delight in my children as well. Amidst a busy, bustling day, it's really great to just take a second to sit and type something cute or funny. It helps me gain perspective when I'm stressed and I can just thank God for the joy he's given me in my lovely children.

A Journal on Journaling

I thought it would be fun to do a series of posts (not consecutively) with my favourite lines from the book Stepping Heavenward. Some are just funny, some I like because I can hear myself in them, and some stir up my heart to love Christ more.

This book is a fictional journal of a young woman named Katherine as her life unfolds from age 16 to her later years. It follows her growth into a godly woman marked by her humility and hope.

This quote always gives me a good chuckle, because it reminds me of all the journals that I've started and thrown away and I just love the tone of it! It is 16-year-old Katy writing about making some resolutions:

I determined, in the first place, to begin this journal. To be sure, I have begun half a dozen and got tired of them after a while. Not tired of writing them, but disgusted with what I had to say of myself. But this time I mean to go on, in spite of everything. It will do me good to read it over and see what a creature I am.

I find the candor of Katy's speech throughout this book, especially in her younger years, very entertaining to read, mostly because it is so easy to identify with her! I find this especially funny as I think back to some of the nonsense that I've written in journals...that's why I never kept them or kept up with them when I was younger.

I must say though, that I have greatly come to appreciate the discipline of journaling as I've grown older. It's helped me to organize my thoughts, mediate on what I am learning of God, keep track of what God has been revealing to me of himself, and now I even enjoy going back to see what the Lord has been doing in my life and heart. I don't necessarily journal the events of my day, but rather I use this blog and I journal about what I'm reading during my morning devotions.

Don Whitney, in his book Spiritual Disciplines For the Christian Life, suggests that journaling is not only a good discipline but it is a spiritual one. He suggests that we journal for the purpose of godliness and that although journaling is not a Scriptural command, it is in fact modeled in the bible, the psalms being a perfect example of this. These are some of the benefits of journaling that Don lists in his book:

1)Help in Self-Understanding and Evaluation
2)Help in Meditation
3)Help in Expressing Thoughts and Feelings to the Lord
4)Help in Remembering the Lord's Works
5)Help in Creating and Preserving a Spiritual Heritage
6)Help in Clarifying and Articulating Insights and Impressions
7)Help in Monitoring Goals and Priorities
8)Help in Maintaining the Other Spiritual Disciplines

Now that is purposeful journaling! Are you journaling Christian? Are you making the most of it? Is it helping you to grow in godliness? By God's grace, I hope not to give up on this discipline so easily anymore. No more throwing out my journals!