The God of Nahum

Since I was a little girl I have struggled with fear. I still do now but to a different degree, and it has only seemed to intensify with the birth of my daughters. I'm not afraid at all during the day, but as soon as I lay my head on my pillow at night, I am plagued by fears, worries and anxiety. It is most always about evils in the world, and vivid imaginings of anything happening to my girls. Sometimes it gets bad enough that I need to wake my husband. Sometimes prayer doesn't work because I am not trusting my God. I don't like this.

Well last night was no exception and I started to worry, but thankfully I was able to pray and sleep overwhelmed me quite quickly. Alas, I awoke this morning to read my Bible and I was completely blessed by my God, the God of Nahum.

In this book Nahum prophesied about God's imminent judgement on Nineveh as they refused to repent. Known for the cruelty with which they treated other nations, God would now punish them and Judah could rejoice for this notorious people was about to fall. In the final verse of this book, after God has destroyed them, Nahum writes to the Ninevites, "There is no easing your hurt; your wound is grievous. All who hear the news about you clap their hands over you. For upon whom has not come your unceasing evil."

Now, my thoughts were neither novel nor profound, but I met with my God this morning and he gave me much comfort, and much to cling to for hope.

As I read of God's intense anger and vengeance and wrath against Nineveh, I was so quickly and humbly reminded once again that God hates wickedness and evil more than I do. God destroyed this nation because of their evil, because he hated it! Nineveh was cruel and unrepentant and this fact did not go unnoticed by God. They seemed to prosper for a time, but God was still sovereign and God would not let them continue in their ways.

So often when I lay awake at night, my flesh tells me the lie that if God hated the evils in this world as much as me, he would not allow them at all. But when I read Scripture I see clearly that this is not the case, but is in fact quite the opposite. I may not know all the details and intricacies of God's sovereign will, nor understand why he works the way that he does, but I know that he is good, and he loves goodness and kindness, and hates sin and iniquity.

In the first chapter of Nahum, when God's wrath and anger are being depicted, his goodness and slowness to anger are also woven right into this picture. His anger at sin and his goodness are not separated, but are so uniquely intertwined:

"The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD is avenging and wrathful; the LORD takes vengeance on his adversaries and keeps wrath for his enemies. The LORD is slow to anger and great in power, and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty." (Nahum 1:2-3)

God's ways are good and he is for those who take refuge in him (Nahum 1:7). By God's grace, when I lay down to sleep tonight, the words of the Psalmist will comfort me, "Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling" (Psalm 46: 2-3).

Moms and Memories

The other day Julian and I were reminiscing about some of our favourite family memories from growing up.

As we talked I thanked God for my mom, who did an amazing job at making me love my home and giving me many great memories and traditions that I hope to pass on to my children. Mom was on her own with my younger brother and I and she didn't become a Christian until I was around 12 years old, but God's grace and mercies were still evident in our lives before that as he always protected us, provided for us, and gave us a loving relationship which only grew when Mom and I were saved.

So Mom, tonight I'm thanking God for his hand in your life, for making you a mom that loved your children and sought to make a good home for us and make special memories with us. I am even more thankful that God saved you and me and that he's kept us and will keep us.

On that note, I thought I'd just journal some of my favourite family memories from my childhood:

• It was definitely my Mom that instilled the value of 'coziness' and 'comfy clothes' in me. From the earliest age I can remember getting cozy in our jammies, having lots of pillows and blankets and snuggling on the couch! I especially remember Friday evenings when we were a bit older and the TGIF tv programs were on.....we would get in our pajamas, pull out the couch (into a bed), get all the pillows in the house, have a yummy snack and stay up late watching Full House and Family Matters.
• Mom was always great at making our friends feel welcome in our home. I loved having sleepovers and having Mom make us french toast or pancakes the next morning for breakfast. Birthday parties were exceptionally exciting as I was allowed to have multiple friends sleep over all at once!
  
• Christmas was always a special time for us, and it became even more dear to me once we knew Jesus as our Lord. Every year we would get a great tree, most years a real one, (some years we'd even go and cut it down...very ambitious of you mother) and then we'd come home, put on Christmas music, have a snack tray and decorate our tree together. On Christmas Eve we would also have the music and snacking and mom would read from one of the gospels about Jesus' birth. I really loved these times.
  
• I have to admit that our family liked Nintendo and each year for several years, we'd get the new and latest game. The early Super Mario Bros. were our favourites and Mom was pretty good at these games. I'll never forget her trying to get the one hundred extra lives in the first Super Mario Bros. and Philip and I going to hide in another room to wait because we would be so nervous and excited that we just couldn't watch! We did have some really great times playing these video games together as a family during our Christmas vacation.
• Sunday mornings were definitely my favourite times when we first became Christians. Mom would always put some Christian music up really loud (Songs From the Loft, hehe, or Holy Holy Holy) in order to wake us up. We'd have a nice breakfast and then mom would read a devotional to us. I'll never forget those times and I'll never forget that newness of joy we had when we first came to Christ.
  

Well the list could go on, but I think I'll stop here. In addition to the memories that my mom created for us to cherish, she also created a relationship between us that was very open and honest. I never once felt that I wanted or needed to hide things from her and I could always talk to her and confess what was going on in my heart and life. I trusted her and her counsel and this is such a precious memory from growing up. I am praying that God would grant me this type of relationship with my daughters. Mom and I are still so close now for which I feel truly grateful and blessed.

I just wanted to say thanks Mom and tell you how much I love you. Thanks for giving me wonderful memories and so much love, but thank you mostly for pointing me to Jesus.

I definitely want my children to love their home and have some of the same great memories that I do. I thank God for his grace in your life, for making you into the hardworking, loving woman that you are, and I pray for his continued grace, that he would continue to refine you and make you a woman of steadfastness. I pray that all that you do would be for his glory. I am so thankful that my children have such an awesome "gramma", and I look forward to all the memories that you're starting to make with them and our little family.

Me and My Polestar

I thought I'd pass along another one of my favourite household items. This one is not especially for the kitchen but it probably ranks as my 'most vital tool'. It allows me to keep my house running in some sort of organized fashion. As seen in the picture, it's my wonderful, reliable day-planner/organizer. I've tried oodles of organizers and this one has proved to be the most functional and appropriate for me as a stay-at-home mom. And, to boot, it's only $8.50 at Costco. Gotta love that! I thought I'd post on this because I searched for awhile before finding this, and I figured it may help someone out to have a suggestion to try out. I'm going to end this post here, lest I really begin to sound like an ad.

Joy in the Storms

I was doing a search on the song More Love To Thee a few nights ago (truth be told, I wanted to see if my blog popped up), and instead I stumbled upon another blog by the name of More Love To Thee. Well of course I had to check this out, and it was quite a find!

This blog is also written by a young woman (named Beka) and not only do we share a love for the Lord and for the writings of Elizabeth Prentiss but from what I gathered from spending some time on her site we also have many other similarities! Obviously I was quite intrigued by all this so I spent some time reading her posts.

It appears that I stumbled upon this blog during a deep valley in Beka's life and I have cried much as I have read her posts. Just a few days ago Beka received the news that her unborn baby no longer has a heartbeat, and she is currently waiting for the completion of miscarrying the baby. This is her third miscarriage. I do not personally understand a loss such as this but my heart was aching and grieving with hers as I read her blog.

But at the same time that my heart was hurting with Beka I was also rejoicing and incredibly blessed by reading of her faith, trust and hope in God. She is not doubting God's goodness, but is leaning on him in total dependence. I am just so encouraged and refreshed to see this woman's steadfastness through this trial.

I wanted to pass along the link to her blog as I have been much encouraged and challenged by her heart for our Lord. From her writings, despite her current grief and mourning, she still demonstrates an abundant joy in her Saviour! I pray this for our hearts Christian, that our faith and joy would be rooted and anchored in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and that when the time comes we would be able to weather the storms that rage in our lives.

Beka, if you read this, I want you to know that I'll be praying that the Lord would bless you with children in the near future and if his will is otherwise, that you would find supreme satisfaction in him alone, and that you would continue to trust in his good, and sovereign plan. You have been on my heart much these last few days.

Here is the link for her blog. I hope you will be as blessed as I have.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

A Kitchen Must

Tonight as I was preparing dinner I realized how much I love my hand-held immersion blender. I've found this tool to be exceptionally useful and it's really helped me save time in the kitchen. If you don't have one, I would highly recommend buying one. They're really affordable and can be used for a number of things, like pureeing soups, making smoothies, baby food, etc. In case you're wondering, I'm not being paid to advertise, I just thought I'd share one of my favourite kitchen utensils...so if you were ever contemplating getting one, I would definitely go for it!

For Whose Glory?

We went to a cottage one day this week and I finally found some time to resume reading More Love to Thee, the biography of Elizabeth Prentiss. Once I started reading I wondered why I've delayed so long in getting back into this gem! I was blessed almost immediately upon opening the book, or maybe I should say convicted and really forced to examine some of the motives of my heart.

There is a small paragraph in the biography that refers to an earlier period in Elizabeth's life, where she really struggled with being able to pray aloud with individuals or in small groups. At first I thought this odd as from the rest of her life it did not appear that she was concerned with what others would think of her. Then I read the possible explanation as to why she did not pray: "Perhaps this had something to do with her upbringing, or perhaps it was her almost morbid fear of hypocrisy. She never wanted to appear more spiritual than she actually was."

Well this got me. I want a heart more like hers. I want a heart that cares more about bringing glory to Christ than making a good name for myself!

I've often struggled with this in regards to blogging. A good friend and I were discussing some issues we have with blogging and some of the things that we don't like about it, and our major concern was the fact that it is so easy to appear more spiritual or 'together' than we actually are.
It is so easy to put forth our best in blogging. To sound like we have everything in order.

I was so convicted as I read about Elizabeth's concern to not be a hypocrite, to never appear more spiritual than she was. Why would she have this concern? From reading her biography and many of her writings, she sounds quite spiritual, and if that were our merit for praying it appears that she would definitely be more qualified than many. But in the words of Charles Haddon Spurgeon, "the holier a man becomes, the more he mourns over the unholiness that remains in him." The more we begin to know God and the more sanctified we become, the more we see our own unworthiness, the more we see the sin that is still in us and the more we see that all we are is because of grace. The more we grow, the less we would long for anyone to make much of us.

I long for this type of heart. I see such evidences of this type of hypocrisy in my own heart, a desire to been seen as a spiritual or godly woman, and even my desire to actually be more spiritual or godly can be hypocritical.

Now obviously the longing to be more spiritual and more godly are not inherently wrong in themselves, but the desire begs the question, 'Why do we want to be more spiritual or more godly?' Do I honestly long for these things so that God will be glorified through me? Or do I want these things because I want glory for myself?

Are you 'contending for supremacy with God' Christian? Do you want to sound more spiritual than you actually are, or do you even want to be more spiritual because that would mean glory for you?

For me, I know that self and pride are still competing so fiercely for exaltation, because even as I write this post, I desire to write more than I am currently desiring to meet with my God in his Holy Word.

'Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.' Change my heart, make me long for your glory above all else, make me long for others to love you more than anything and especially more than me!

The Folly of Pride

As I mentioned in my previous post, there was a lengthy season in my life where I was really struggling to read God's word and find joy in Him alone. During this time, I found my heart becoming very cold and hard, and this began to manifest itself in the way that I was living. Most noticeable was that I was quick to anger, prone to fault-finding and gossip, and I was more concerned with my wants and desires rather than desiring to serve others.

However this season was not without its good purposes! During this time, the Lord really shed some light on the ‘hidden evils of my heart’. I really began to see what I would look like, without the grace of God in my life. Not a pretty sight, to say the least! But what was even more startling to me during this time was the increase of pride in my heart. At such a time as this, when I quite obviously had nothing to be proud of, I was becoming more proud! What could my heart possibly find to have pride in at a time like this?

But that’s the thing about pride isn’t it? It seems to work subtly and subversively, making an appearance even in places where it is the least justifiable. Our hearts long to make much of ourselves, long to find something good in us, long to have glory, where quite clearly no glory is due. Even at our worst we can find something to boast about, whether we see things in others that we think we do better, or just the fact that we at least recognize our sin, can make us proud.

Even in areas where it may seem that one has cause for pride, such as good looks, vast knowledge, exceptional skills, marked spirituality, Scripture is quick to remind us “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”(1 Cor 4:7)

Proof in point, that "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer 17:9)

The Lord is still working out these things in me and I'm sure that he will be until he brings me home to glory, but my prayer is that he will continue to humble me. In future posts, I hope to address the guile of pride at more length. For now Christian, remember "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6b)